Covert Narcissist Traits: 9 Quiet Signs Most People Miss 9 Covert Narcissist Traits to Watch For

Covert Narcissist Traits: 9 Quiet Signs Most People Miss 9 Covert Narcissist Traits to Watch For

The loud, grandiose narcissist is easy to picture. The covert kind is not. Covert narcissist traits tend to hide behind quietness, sensitivity, and even self-deprecation — which is exactly why they are so easily missed. A partner often senses that something is off long before they can name it. Below are nine quiet signs clinicians…

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence — the Skill Behind It Is Emotional Literacy How to Improve Emotional Intelligence (the Gottman Way)

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence — the Skill Behind It Is Emotional Literacy How to Improve Emotional Intelligence (the Gottman Way)

Most advice on how to improve emotional intelligence starts by telling you to be more empathetic, more self-aware, more regulated — worthy goals, but hard to act on directly. There is an earlier, more practical skill underneath all of them, and there is a name for it: emotional literacy. It is the ability to notice…

What Is Reactive Abuse…And Can It Be Prevented?

What Is Reactive Abuse…And Can It Be Prevented?

You’ve seen the headlines and plot lines for every courtroom drama and true crime podcast: “Wife Finally Snaps!” “Husband Loses Control!” “Honeymoon Ends Early with Attempted Murder.” The story is usually told the same way. It focuses on the moment of the violence—because that’s what captures attention. Like slowing down to look at a traffic…

Why Your Family of Origin Still Controls Your Emotions (and What to Do About It)

Why Your Family of Origin Still Controls Your Emotions (and What to Do About It)

It’s a common assumption that once we move out, build a career, or start our own families, we have finally “grown up” and left the past behind. Yet, for many, an unexpected comment from a partner or a specific tone of voice from a friend or co-worker can instantly transport them back to the feeling…

Pride, Partnership, and the Need for Emotional Refuge

Pride, Partnership, and the Need for Emotional Refuge

When Gottman therapists assess relationship health, we are looking for three things above all else: the presence of trust, the presence of commitment, and the absence of contempt. Most articles you’ll read will help you focus on how to strengthen your relationship by focusing your energy on working on these three pillars: especially contempt since…