God wants us to be happy, right? I hear it often in my work with couples. Two people on the brink of divorce, not because of abuse or infidelity, but because the relationship no longer makes them happy. As they describe, the excitement, curiosity, and fun they experienced at the beginning of their relationship are…
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22 Key Points Proverbs 18:22 celebrates a godly wife as a gift and a sign of the Lord’s favor. A wife is not meant to carry every burden alone, but to be honored as a partner of strength,…
Some may wonder whether their ministry opportunities have ended once their marriage has ended. God is so gracious as to never waste our pain. He uses what we’ve been through to help us grow, change, and sometimes better help others who are walking through similar struggles. Our stories, both the good and bad, are for…
This year marks the 30th anniversary of the Gottman Institute. Thirty years of research, thousands of scientific observations, and one question that continues to fascinate the community of relational psychology: How do we help couples thrive? What Is the Best Way to Help Couples? I’ve been asking that question since I sat with my first…
We know that people think talking about money just leads to fighting about money. So couples avoid discussing it or they do bring up money in the same ineffective ways and the cycle continues. If your spouse (or you) defaults to nagging, controlling, dishonesty, or using guilt to “deal” with your concerns about…
We all like the idea of community, but do we know how to implement it? We know God created us to be in communion with Him and others. God Himself is a community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The New Testament models community, and the modern church talks about it, but are we doing…
It is the third session, and the clinician notices she has been watching the same thing for twenty minutes: one partner leaning forward, the other leaning slightly back, a slow rocking motion the couple does not seem to know they are performing. She knows each of them well enough by now. What she is still…
It tends to happen late, after the house has gone quiet. One partner lies awake and runs the reel of the relationship backward, looking for the version of it that still glows. Some nights it does. Some nights the memory has flipped — click — to something colder. Underneath that replay sits a single question:…
The realization rarely comes during the fight itself. It comes later, on the drive home, after the door has closed, when you find yourself building the defense for a conversation you did not start and somehow seem to have lost. You go back over it. You were calm, or you meant to be. The apology…
Summer brings opportunities for family fun, but it can also disrupt routines, increase stress, and leave couples with less time and energy for each other. It doesn’t need to be the ‘perfect summer’ nor does every moment have to be memorable. However, it can be a time reconnect, making memories as a family and as…