If you are newly engaged, congratulations! It is such an exciting time, but it can be stressful as you plan for your deepest commitment. For years, I’ve been a relationship counselor and have had the opportunity to see many different couples. From premarital couples looking to plan their big day to couples who have been…
Contempt is the worst of the four horsemen. It is the most destructive negative behavior in relationships. In Dr. John Gottman’s four decades of research, he has found it to be the number one predictor of divorce. According to Malcolm Gladwell in his bestselling book, Blink: “If Gottman observes one or both partners in a…
The third horsemen in the Four Horsemen is defensiveness, which is defined as self-protection in the form of righteous indignation or innocent victimhood in an attempt to ward off a perceived attack. Many people become defensive when they are being criticized, but the problem is that its perceived effect is blame. It is usually a…