You’ve probably heard of Gottman’s Four Horsemen before: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. But reading about them on paper or online is one thing. Recognizing them in the middle of an argument with your partner is a little more challenging. What the 4 Horsemen Sound Like in Everyday Conversation These monsters of miscommunication can be…
When you point out his faults, criticize or correct him, you make him feel like an idiot in front of others—and that’s demeaning. Don’t embarrass him in any way (especially in front of your children). Would you want him to do that to you? A better solution: When he says something you know (or think…
The idea of self-help has been around for a long time. But when it comes to something as complex as your relationship, can self-help tools really make a difference? They can, but not all relationship tools are created equal. The quality of the resource matters, as does how you use it. Research-based tools that teach…
Key Takeaways Quiet quitting in marriage happens when one or both partners remain in the relationship but gradually stop investing emotionally. It can look surprisingly peaceful because there may be less conflict—but less conflict can be a relationship red flag. Emotional withdrawal can develop after repeated disappointment, unresolved conflict, or a loss of hope that…
Your teenager may know they should refuse the ride and still struggle to say no to the friend offering it. For you, the concern is straightforward: the driver does not have a license. For your teenager, refusing may also mean being laughed at or left out next time. You need to address the risk while…
Photo: Valeriy_G / Getty Images/iStockphoto Your teenager may discover what they want from life by discovering what they have to offer. As parents, we tend to ask about the future in terms of college, qualifications and a job. We want our children to support themselves and enjoy their lives. But we can also ask about…
Photo: SimonSkafar / Getty Images When someone offers your teenager a drink at a party, the alcohol may be only part of the attraction. The same can be true of trying cannabis, speeding with friends in the car or attempting a dangerous stunt for a video: alongside the danger, they may see a chance to…
Photo: Artem Peretiatko / Getty Images/iStockphoto Your teenager is about to start driving, and you’re lying awake imagining them behind the wheel with friends talking over the music. Their phone buzzes, and they glance down just as the driver ahead begins to brake. What can you do beyond saying, “Please be careful”? You can practice…
When my children were in elementary school, I was busy being a mom and the future seemed distant. I was in the midst of soccer games, mounds of laundry, and meal preparation. I thought my boys would always be rough and tumble, video-game-playing, eating-all-the-groceries kids. In a blink, however, they transformed from smelly energetic boys…
Resilience is the ability to recover from adversity which can include illness, loss, financial instability, natural disasters and any other highly stressful events. With all we have been through globally in the last several years, it’s evident people have learned how to cope with a lot of challenges. Sadly, the undulating waves of collective stress,…